Well the chagim are over and I probably gained like 5 pounds! Soooo many yuntif meals its insane! At least now I'll lose it all eating sushi and salad again. Challah is like my waterloo.
Over the chagim I thought about a lot of stuff, like how much has changed over the passed year. Last year I was in Israel at the beginning of my shana aleph and now I'm in Stern and I feel a lot older.
One thing I've come to realize is that there are a ton of different ideas out there and it's easy to get lost, but you have to choose a path and stick to it. there's no point feeling guilty for being yourself. What I mean is, for example in Isreal I started feeling bad about watching movies and listening to non jewish music and stuff, and I stopped for a while, but I started again because I like it, and you need something to keep you interested and take your mind off things sometimes! So why should I feel bad for it? In stern its very normal, and even though some girls still dont most people do, a lot of girls who are frum and tznius and learn mesilas yesharim and everything still do, and I think its okay. I dont think I should have to feel guilty, I should be able to find my own path and be ok with that, right?